Week Twenty Three - Up the Mountain

So, this is the first week that I actually didn't write anything down to share with you guys. But I am gonna write a little bit about Song of Solomon Chapter 2 (I would recommend reading it quick because I'm not gonna type all of it out :-p ) and how I feel like it was written just for me right now.

I only have 4 full more days left here in Kansas City. I am sad, excited, happy, and nervous all at the same time. Verse 3 talks about the maiden (the main girl in the book) sitting in Jesus' shade, tasting just a little bit of who He is. I feel like that is where I was before FITN. Then in verses 4 and 5 He brings her to the banqueting table. This for me, was my internship. 6 months of just sitting at His feet, learning and talking about Him 24/7. But then in verses 10-13, He talks about calling her to come away with Him up the mountains. She has to face her fears. 

Man, I am so scared to go home. I really am. My old lifestyle, my old self is there waiting for me, calling my name and I really honestly want nothing to do with it. But Matthew 26:41 says "Keept watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak." 

Yeah, I am willing but I am going to have to work sooo hard and pray that I will not fall back into it. 

So am I gonna go with Jesus up the mountains? Or am I going to give up, like the maiden does in this chapter, and stay behind in the shade. I don't want to give up, I really don't. I have to learn to trust and obey Him and realize that He isn't going to leave me half way up this mountain of going home.

There's a lot more in this chapter that is so good, but that's the basics of it. I fell in love with this book when I read and studied this chapter. If you go on mikebickle.org, he does a whole teaching on Song of Solomon, taking a few verses at a time and going through them in detailed, easy to understand ways. I think this is what I'm going to study over the summer. I think at least every girl should study it, because it is written in our language :) 

Week Twenty Two - The Greatest of These is Love

Tuesday    Day 152    3-15-11

1 John 4:8

God is love.

"Why would a loving God send people to hell? Why would a God who loves, let bad things happen to good people? The God in the Old Testament and the God in the book of Revelation doesn't sound very loving to me."

I've heard these questions and comments countless times. The answer is able to be understood, but is deep and complicated (for me, at least). I will do my best to explain.

Think about this:

It only took God seven days to create the Earth. But He took an entire nine months to create you!

What does that say to you about God's love for us? To me it says that we are more precious to Him than anything else He created. I can just imagine His excitement right before creation began. "I am going to save man for last, because he's the best of all!"

Colossians 1:16 says He created everything for His enjoyment. So if the waterfalls were made because He likes them, how much more does He like and love us?!

Psalm 139:13 says

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.

God loves us so much, that He took 38x more time to create us than He did to make the world.

I heard someone today refer to the judgments in Revelation as "speed bumps to Hell". It's so true. You guys, God doesn't want us to go to Hell! It is out of His love and kindness that the judgments in Revelation happen! He very well could just flood the whole place again, He really could! But He doesn’t because #1, He promised He wouldn't. And #2 He will do all that He can to make sure as many people will be with Him in eternity. In the end times, God gives seven years and 21 judgments for people to turn to Him! That, to me, speaks of His kindness is such great measures!

God doesn't send people to Hell. People choose to go there. Psalm 20:4 says that God gives us our hearts desires. So if someone says, "I don't want anything to do with God." He replies, "Ok, but that means eternity without Me." A lot of people have the mindset that God is a mean God who pounces on the opportunity to send someone to Hell. But in reality, when that's the route someone chooses, His heart is broken (Genesis 6:6).

God doesn't just have the feeling or emotion of love, He is love. He is the definition of Love. In order to understand the things He does, we need to understand Him; and He is Love. We think we know what love is, but honestly, our little human brains will never be able to fully understand Love until we are with Him in eternity.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not demand His own way. Love keeps no record of wrong. Love never gives up on us. Love will last forever.

What kind of God is this, that He would love us, mere mortals, like He does?

What kind of God is this, that He would give us chance, after chance, after chance over and over again to run back to Him?

What kind of God is this that He Himself would become a Man, only to then die a horrendous death, so that we could be with Him forever?

These are the questions that we should be asking.  

Thursday    Day 154    3-17-11

Lamentations 3:55-57

But I called on Your name, Lord, from deep within the pit. You heard me when I cried, "Listen to my pleading! Heart my cry for help!" Yes, You came when I called; You told me, "Do not fear."

I read Lamentations tonight and it is one of my new favorites. Most people who read it would get the idea that God is angry and mean. But what I see is a jealous God who is deeply in love with His people. God is not angry at us. He is jealous for us. Much like what a husband would feel when a wife is either being attacked or unfaithful (2 Corinthians 11:2). But then it shows the unending mercy and faithfulness of God.

I love this passage. No matter how deep the pit, no matter how long it took for us to dig the pit, He still hears our weak cry for help. It took me a year and a half to dig the pit I was in, but even though He is still wiping me clean of the mud and grim, it only took an instant for God to pull me out. I can imagine Him saying "Don't be afraid" and comforting us, much like a Father would to a scared child, or a shepherd to a lost sheep.

The jealousy of a husband, the love of a Father, the comfort of a shepherd…

Who is like our God? 

Week Twenty One - Rightly Do We Love You Jesus

Thursday   Day 147   3-10-11

Revelation 1:5b

All glory to Him who loves us, and freed us from our sins by shedding His blood for us.

Isaiah 53:5

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. 

We all know that Jesus died for our sins. But today I just realized something. He didn't just take our sin away. He who was innocent, became guilty for us. He actually took the blame, became guilty, just as if He had done it Himself. He was stripped naked so we could be covered in righteousness. He became shame. He became guilty. For us!

I've been reading a fictional series (based on true events) called Chronicles of Brothers by Wendy Alec. It's about the archangels Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer (who became Satan). The three books are The Fall of Lucifer, The First Judgment, and The Son of Perdition.  I just finished The First Judgment and it was based on the life of Christ. There is the scene of Him dying on the cross and it really touched my heart:

The ferociously seething cyclones swirled above a rapidly growing gulf above Golgotha. Jesus' hair blew violently as every particle of His being was instantly immersed in a violent light storm that coursed like an electric tempest through His being, lifting Him inches from the cross, then thrusting Him violently back against the coarse wood. He raised His face in horror to the black, swirling gales that raged overhead, visible only to Gabriel and the legions of the First Heaven and those of the fallen [in other words, not visible to the natural eye. Only to the angels and demons, and Jesus]. The cyclones crashed through the gulf, their ferocious power unleashed on Jesus as generation after generation's evil, depraved ravings of the Race of Men and hell's demons descended toward Jesus - a lewd wave of unending filth. A million, million blasphemies, the wicked, darkened imaginings of the Race of Men resounded through the Place of the Skull.

"Eloiiii!" Jesus screamed, His voice drowned out by the discordant, raging profanities, "Father….Fa…th…er…" His agonized scream rang out through the darkening skies as His body jerked with violent convulsions.

Bloodied harpies and leech-vampires descended on the center cross like a violent seething shroud, their pincers and talons ripping into Jesus' limbs; their ulcerated lips latched on to His chest, expelling their infected viruses until His skin became a mass of purpled, bloodied welts, a living, writhing mass of rotting flesh. Leprous nodules covered His lips and eyes, swollen thrice their size; swelling cancers multiplied and spread across His abdomen and chest; a white film covered His eyes until Jesus stared ahead completely blind.

Gabriel lowered his eyes from Jesus' hideous disfigurement. 

Obviously, we don't know if this is what actually happened, but I think it is an amazing picture of how He didn't just take things away, but He actually took it upon Himself.

Saturday    Day 149   3-12-11

Hebrews 5:7-9

While Jesus was here on Earth, He offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the One who could save Him from death. And God heard His prayers because of His deep reverence for God. Even though Jesus was God's Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. In this way, God qualified Him as a perfect High Priest, and He became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey Him.

Jesus is our High Priest. Do know what a priest does? He stands before God and intercedes (prays) for His people. Jesus prays for us. Isn't that crazy?! The other night in burn team, we talked about prayer reading the scriptures. I haven't done it a lot, but when I read this, I decided I should try it. So I just said short phrases like, "Jesus, You are my High Priest. Thank You for interceding for me. Thank You for caring enough about me to pray for me."

I got a picture of Jesus on His knees, face to the ground, weeping, His heart broken, begging His Father to bring me back at the time I wasn't walking with Him.

This is Christ's love for us. Isn't it beautiful? 

Week Twenty - A Call to Go Deeper

Wednesday   Day 139    3-2-11

Jeremiah 1:5 

I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born, I set you apart.

Remember when I talked about possibly maybe doing TheCall Institute? For about a month, I had decided not to and to instead attend FSM (school of minsitry), but God made it clear last night that TheCall is probably the best desicion for me. Here's what happened.

I know a girl, Emma, who was in FITN last track and is now in TheCall. I was talking with her and at one point she said, "I am having an awesome time, but if you aren't specifically called to it, you won't enjoy being in the institute because it is very intense."  When she said "it" I thought she was talking about the institute itself. But last niht at dinner, my friends and I were talkign about Nazarite vows and being a Nazarite. It brought up the question again in my heart, "Well, is FSM really the right thing for me to do?". I hated that question. It made me feel so uncomfortable. I struggled with it all night in the prayer room until about 20 minutes before leaving, God spoke to me. He said, "Katie, after your vow (not dating for 3 years) is complete, that doesn't mean you are done being a Nazarite." Then I realized tht when Emma said "it" she meant being called to be a Nazarite. (When I told all this to my roomate, she said, "Oh I knew that's what Emma meant!" Gee, thanks for telling me now!). Then God took me back over my 18 years and showed me how my entire life I have been set apart (which what being a Nazarite means). He highlighted 5 specefic points.

#1 - My adoption

#2-  Being homeschooled for 7.5 years

#3 - Never the "popular" one/socially awkward (which isn't a bad thing, it was just who I was)

#4 - Learning about Nazarite vows, and making one for 3 years (which I broke the last year, hence why I am re-doing it)

#5 - Being called to come to IHOP instead of the usual state university. When I was having a heard time with this, my mentor kept telling me, "Katie, it's because you are being set apart, and it's for a specific reason" (...thanks Dawn)

I didn't just make a vow. Being a Nazarite is who I am.

(P.S. DON'T WORRY - Being a Nazarite and being celibate are two different things. I can still get married, but being a Nazarite is just giving up legitimate pleasures [which, for some people is marriage, but for others, it's things like TV or certain foods etc] in order to search for God more deeply. I still have every  intention of walking down the aisle at some point in time :-p) 

Thursday   Day 140   3-3-11

Psalm 30:11

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothes me with joy. 

Today was our second and final day of an inner healing seminar. God did a lot of good stuff in my heart. A lot of crap came up and I let it go. Anyway, the last couple months, I've been asking God about my laugh. For years now, I've felt like my laugh isn't natural. Genuine, yes. But not natural. It would sound different depending on who I was with, and a lot of the time it would feel forced if I wanted to laugh "hard". But today, that changed. The two people leading the seminar are naturally funny people. So we laughed quiet a bit throughout the day. And as God did stuff in my heart, the more my laugh felt different. It felt natural! And when I did laugh, it wasn't just a "hahaha". It would leave a resounding joy in my heart and my heart actually felt healthier afterwards. God gave me beauty for ashes, and joy mourning tonight. He truly did! 

Saturday  Day 142  3-5-11

Matthew 5:13

You are the salt of the Earth. But what good is salt if it has lost it's flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.

Salt has many purposes, and they can translate to our walk as Christians.

#1 - Salt season - Believers are to be a "spiritual seasoning" that enhances the quality of a tastless world (Job 6:6).

#2 - Salt preserves - Believers are to act as a supernatural "preserving agent" in a world vulnerable to moral and societal decay (Genesis 18:6-19:29)

#3 - Salt heals - Believers are to seek out and bring the healing benefits of redemption to a sick and dying world.

#4 - Salt is a diuretic - Believers are to live so as to make people around them "thirst" for something they didn't realize was missing

#5 - Salt is  precious commodity - In the ancient Chinese trade, an ounce of salt used to be equal to an ounce of gold. As believers we ar to walk in the confidence of our worthto God, displayed in the price He paid for us. We are precious to Him!!!!

#6 - Salt is a ratifying agent - The Arabic word for salt is the same as the word for a compact or a treaty. Believers enter covenant with God through the mutual sacrifice of laying down of lives.

#7 - Salt is a de-icing agent - Believers help those around them in a cold world by warming their hearts with the power of God's love.

What qualifies as seasoned salt vs. flavorless salt (relating to Christians)? This is my opinion.

"Actions speak louder than words"

I used to live by this quote. But really, I think it leads a lot of believers down the wrong path when it comes to sharing their faith. The book of James tells us that faith without works is dead. I think this also is the with our words and our actions. 

Many Christians today take this quote to heart an barely say anything about what they believe. They like to show their Christianity by the way they live. But honestly, I know athiests who don't drink, sleep around, or do drugs. They are "good people". It's my conviction that yo ureally aren't doing anything unless you open your mouth and speak. It's only when your actions match what you say, will they then themselves speak loud and clear.

Colossians 4:6 says

Let your speech be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how to answer. 

Speaking the truth in love releases grace to thsoe who recieve it.

Proverbs 15:4 says

Gentle words are a tree of life.

James chapter 3 talks about our tounge having the power of life or death. If we can speak truth and life to somebody's heart, why shouldn't we? It's like having the cure for cancer but not telling anybody. I don't think Christians today grasp the urgency of sharing the gospel. Heck, I'm only starting to grasp it. 

Conflict. That's one thing that I hate. That's the primary thing that has kept me from talking with most people. But guess what? There is a difference between being a passive "peace-keeper" and being an active "peace-maker". 

Matthew 10:34-39 says

(Jesus speaking) "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. I have come to set man against his father...He who loves his father more than Me is not worthy of Me..."

Jesus came to bring conflict. Why? He loved people too much to leave them in a state of disagreement with the Father's love, without giving them an opportunity to change. Jesus wasn't afraid of making war to establish lasting peace (Revelation 19:11). To make peace we sometimes have to talk about the elephant in the room. However, by doing so, we are the children of God! (Matthew 5:9)

I believe it is our speech that determinds weather or not we are seasoned or flavorless. I don't know about you, but I would love to be called a child of God! :)