Wednesday Day 125 2-16-11
Revelation 4:2-3
And instantly I was in the Spirit, and I saw a throne in heaven and someone sitting on it. The One sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones like jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled His throne like a rainbow.
For the last week, I've been feeling really blah. I don't feel like I'm growing any. Last night I read this passage and I couldn't really picture it. So I went to the back of the prayer room, closed my eyes, tried to block out distractions, and pictured myself on the sea of glass (Revelation 4:6) before the throne. It took me a while, but eventually, I got a picture. The only thing I can really describe is me standing on the sea, and far in front of me, in the midst of a lot of colors etc. was this huge, beautiful, red, glowing, sparkling heart beating steadily. For a second it seemed like all I could hear was the thundering pulse of God's heart; kind of like how sometimes in suspenseful parts of movies, all you hear is silence except for a heartbeat, almost in a slow motion way. I was in awe. But then I heard the still quiet voice ask, "Why am I so distant from you?" God was asking me why I was holding Him at arms length. Why, in this picture in my mind, was I so far away from Him? Why wasn't I face to face with His heart? Why wasn't I reaching out to touch it? I honestly don't know. I really, really don't. I just need to keep pushing on.
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